Wha? Where'd this decade go?

I turn 30 today.

 

Holy crap.

 

That's all I have to say about that right now.

pretty bird

Yesterday I was driving home from the grocery store and a guy in a black Jeep flipped me off. I truly think he was in the wrong (however, I won't tell you what I did to get flipped off because you might take his side, and I am enjoying feeling right).

The whole experience was kind of funny to me, and the part that surprises me is that I didn't get too upset when I saw his big, knuckly finger in my rear-view mirror. I got a little fired up/indignant, but not the "I'm gonna cry" kind of feeling that a friend once described after her first birdy experience. When I got home and told Craig what had happened, he said (with sarcasm) "That's gotta make you feel good." and I said, "Actually, it kind of did. I felt self-righteously good."

I don't know. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you without knowing the series of traffic events, but I guess in a nutshell I will say that the guy was driving like a punk bully, and I stuck up for myself (in a vehicular fashion) and it pissed the guy off. So maybe I felt proud of myself. Maybe I felt safe and anonymous in the car and therefore more prone to confrontation than I am in "real" life.

And maybe this is a dumb story, now that I think about it, but I think I'm going to post it anyway. Because it feels good to stick up for yourself, even if it's just against jackass drivers in black Jeeps.

the Giver eternally

"It is a grief to the heart of God when we try to provide things for him. He is so very, very rich. It gives him true joy when we just let him give and give and give again to us. It is a grief to him, too, when we try to do things for him, for he is so very, very able. He longs that we will just let him do and do and do. He wants to be the Giver eternally, and he wants to be the Doer eternally. If only we saw how rich and how great he is, we would leave all the giving and all the doing to him."

-Watchman Nee, Sit, Walk, Stand

Day 16--a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

I don't know if I'll do anywhere near all of these "Day X" posts, but we are having technical difficulties at work right now, and I literally have nothing else to do while I wait for things to get back up and running.
 
Okay, I initially was going to talk about "You're My Home" by Billy Joel, and how it makes me think of my husband, but then I started typing out the lyrics and realized some of the lines are a bit PG-rated and might be interpreted as TMI (not what I was going for). So, here's another song that gets me teary-eyed and also makes me think of my marriage. I think it's a beautiful picture of a relationship where you know someone completely and are fully known by them. I love the way she redefines "happy" in the context of a marriage in which two people have gone through some hard things together, yet there is a depth there now that is so much better than the superficial "happy" that some people settle for. The type of transparancy she describes here can be scary, so I find this song both challenging and inspiring, and it makes me thankful for my husband and the marriage we have fought for over the past seven years.
 
Different Kinds of Happy (by Sara Groves)

 

Go on and ask me anything. What do you need to know?

I'm not holding on to anything I'm not willing to let go of To be free, to be free
 
I've got to ask you something, but please don't be afraid

There's a promise here thats heavier than your answer might weigh

Baby it's me, it's me
 
It's a sweet, sweet thing

Standing here with you and nothing to hide

Light shining down to our very insides

Sharing our secrets, baring our souls,
Helping each other come clean
 
Secrets and cyphers, there's no good way to hide

There's redemption in confession and freedom in the light

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid
 
It's a sweet, sweet thing

Standing here with you and nothing to hide

Light shining down to our very insides

Sharing our secrets, baring our souls,
Helping each other come clean 

Better than our promises

Is the day we got to keep them

I wish those two could see us now,

They never would believe how there are different kinds of happy

Different kinds of happy

There are different kinds of happy

Different kinds of happy
 
It's a sweet, sweet thing

Standing here with you and nothing to hide

Light shining down to our very insides

Sharing our secrets, baring our souls,
Helping each other come clean

restless

"In the way of righteousness there is life..." - Proverbs 12:28

 

God's way is the way of life and good things. That was the topic of discussion at last night's women's Bible study (we are studying the book of Proverbs).

 

Fitting, considering lately I have been struggling with some discontentment.

 

One of the verses we read last night had a marginal note in our study book (wish I could remember the actual verse and note--sorry) that expounded on the idea that pursuing God and God's best in our lives leads to joy, satisfaction, fulfillment, etc.

 

Like Saint Augustine prayed, I want to look to God alone for the satisfaction my heart desires. I am free to look elsewhere, but I won't find it anywhere else.

 

"Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee." - Augustine

Day 12--being "OCD"

Today I'm going to pretend it's Day 12 and post on "Something I am OCD about":

First, I'd like to comment on the idea of "being OCD" about something. Didn't OCD used to be a diagnosable disorder, not a state of mind? I find it amusing how flippantly we all talk about being OCD all of a sudden. I don't think this used to be the case.

Also, I find it kind of funny that this list-game-thing assumes we all have something that we are "OCD" about (I think I'll use quotes to differentiate between being actually OCD and just being anal retentive).

Lastly, I'm sure I am "OCD" about many things. There are lots of things I get weird about. I have even joked that I might be partly autistic (or I guess I should say "autistic"--no disrespect intended to those who are actually autistic). I can get really focused and obsessive about things that no one else cares about. But I will throw this out there: if you happen to know my mother, you will (or should) agree that I'm not so bad.

Now for one actual thing I am OCD about: When I sneeze or blow my nose at work, I use hand santizer afterward. Every time. Even if I sneeze into my elbow or a tissue, and even if it's just allergies (a common thing this allergy season. It's been a bad one). I should add that I have my own office with a door, and that I'm the only one who touches anything in here. Also, I used to wipe down everything in my office pretty regularly with a Clorox wipe, until the wipes ran out and I've been too lazy to get more. I guess one can't be truly "OCD" and be lazy at the same time.

Monday, and I'm blogging!

I'm sitting here drinking a Juicy Juice, and I decided to blog. No, there's probably not a connection there.

Sidenote: I do not have kids, but I enjoy juice boxes. Another childish enjoyment: silly bands. However, why I don't think this is creepy: the Juicy Juice came into my possession by accident (left in my cooler at a reunion picnic a couple weeks ago), and the one silly band I own was given to me by a friend with kids. I have resisted the urge to trade it with friends' kids (it is a princess crown, and I want to keep it).

I saw this on my friend Sarah's blog, and I'm stealing it. You're supposed to post every day for 30 days on the list of topics below. I'll attempt to do this for the next 30 calendar days, but I doubt I'll do it every day. And I'll probably pick and choose from the list, and probably out of order. So this is not just stolen, but also modified to suit my preferences.

Day 1 - your favorite song

Day 2 - your favorite movie

Day 3 - your favorite television program

Day 4 - your favorite book

Day 5 - your favorite quote

Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things

Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy

Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad

Day 9 - a photo you took

Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you

Day 11 - a photo of you recently

Day 12 - something you are OCD about

Day 13 - a fictional book

Day 14 - a non-fictional book

Day 15 - your dream house

Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)

Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding

Day 19 - a talent of yours

Day 20 - a hobby of yours

Day 21 - a recipe

Day 22 - a website

Day 23 - a youtube video

Day 24 - where you live

Day 25 - your day, in great detail

Day 26 - your week, in great detail

Day 27 - your worst habit

Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse

Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30 - a dream for the future

And because I've already wasted enough time blogging for now, I'll save my first "favorite" post for another day.