So, it's late. Or, early. Either way, I should be sleeping. But I woke up to pee and couldn't get back to sleep (HATE when that happens). And then my stomach started hurting pretty badly, so I decided to get up for awhile (since the last time that happened, it was the beginnings of a 24-hour pukefest flu party, and I wanted to be close to a bathroom if we were about to enjoy the sequel to that little number...)
Yeah, that was probably TMI. But hey, it's 4 am and my inner editor is asleep.
Here are some random things on my mind:
- When I feel hurt, I often have a very nasty/mean reaction. Luckily (for you, anyway) it doesn't usually come blasting out at the other person (sometimes it does indirectly, but even that I try to have some control over. Because, yeah, even passive-aggressiveness is pretty uncool). On a probably not-unrelated note, I still have a stomachache. And have been lying awake for the past 45 minutes thinking of things I'd like to say to someone if I lived in the type of world where I could really let them have it without having any consequences (such as hurting their feelings or damaging our relationship).
- On a probably not-unrelated note, it occurred to me today that I think I have some anger issues. Stuffed-down, unhealthy anger issues (but anger issues nonetheless).
- On a definitely unrelated note....whoa, how about that oil spill, eh? It's really bad. I mean, REALLY bad. Man.
- I feel like my relationship with God needs a tune-up. While on one hand, I feel like that's something I shouldn't admit "out loud," another part of me knows (knows!) that 99% of other Christians probably feel the same way. And the other 1% are in denial.
- I read something during my middle-of-the-night Web perusal that inspired me and gave me hope (and a practical step to take) for helping with that last bullet.
Okay, and I just heard a scary noise, so time to get off the computer and turn on some lights. WTH, I really need to go to sleep.
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